Day 61: Functional Demotivation

unfinishedsentence

My beta readers have the manuscript and I’ve been working on my website. It’s mostly finished… the thing that’s stopping me from launching the website are the short stories I’m writing/fixing to offer to my visitors. They have to be as awesome as I can make them, because each of them will be an introduction to me and my work. The type of stories I’m giving away are a mix of the genres I write in; science fiction, fantasy and speculative.

I haven’t been motivated to write since sending out to my readers. I felt an immense feeling of bliss and then the next two days became listless. My desire to write flagged and each time I flipped open the laptop or sat at my PC, it was with dread. Then, to my own surprise, I wrote a great deal.  In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been surprised. A lack of motivation can be regarded as loss of the ‘muse’ or ‘writers block’, neither to which I subscribe.  Oh, I used to point the finger and shriek my dismay at attracting the block and losing the muse, but these accusations were a way of casting the responsibility away from myself.

I am currently in the land of do-or-die.  My decision to become a full-time novelist has locked me into my obligations. Writing is no longer a hobby, it is my job. My attitude has shifted appropriately: I can’t stop because I’ve only just started, I can’t stop because I have to keep releasing more short fiction, more novellas, more novels (the short fiction secondary to the latter two), I can’t stop because writing is a long term business that I have to keep investing my time and work into.

I have heard many times: “There is no money in writing” and I say bullshit.  There’s no money in anything unless you’re ready to put in the work.  So I’m not motivated to write, but I show up and do it anyway because people show up to their jobs even if they don’t want to, so they can get paid for it at the end of the day.  My route just takes a little longer but I’d rather invest the time and get to the stage where I can properly call myself a full-time novelist instead of just ‘on my way’.

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