Motivation AKA You Big Sucky Piece Of Crap

Warning: This post is going to be a big ramble of the heart and soul, so feel free to skip it.

In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been posting. Not because I’m busy (although I am, but not SO busy that I can’t afford 30 mins towards blogging… let’s face it, The Bachelor episodes can go unwatched), and not because I don’t want to post (because I do! I genuinely want to keep up this blog not only as a point of reference of my journey into independent publishing but also as a cathartic process and also sharing information with others… you are not alone, etc).

So what the hell is happening?

Why do I think about this blog and CRINGE when I think of all the time that has passed between my last post and then CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE? What the–? The more time that passes, the bigger the cringe-factor, and yet… *back turn*. What the hell is that? Who does that?

I used to… in my writing. I used to play video games instead of writing more on my (constantly unfinished) novels. I used to start a different novel instead of writing the next chapter or scene in my current one. I used to watch TV or read a book or even *gasp* tidy up something. Yeah, nah. (That means no, to all you non-Aussies).

I also have a post fairly ready… my Scrivener cheat-sheet Meta Data settings. (That can come a little later because, hey, I can link to it wherever it goes and I can also tag it ‘cheat sheet’ and ‘scrivener’). I want to talk about this lack of motivation I’ve been experiencing, that sucky piece of crap sensation that would be considered ‘depression’ if it was any worse.

Not to make light of depression, because that’s possibly the worst thing ever. Lack of motivation is a symptom, but I can easily say I’m not depressed. I’m highly unmotivated right now, but depression? Nope.

I’ve been writing at least. Not as much as I would like but I have been busy. I made a (huge) mistake buying Civilization: Beyond Earth recently. I’ve always been a Civ fan, but this combines Civ with space exploration and planet founding. Excuse me for a moment while I hit an operatic high note of excitement. So that was an easy weekend distraction (that bled into a couple of weekdays).

Before that was also a quietly held 99c sale day for Axiom. I advertised in a couple of newsletters that had done well for me in the past: SweetFreeBooks and Booktastik. Tell you what, the difference between trying to sell a book for 99c (which is $5 off the list price, by the way) and putting it on special for free is PHENOMENAL. About 800 downloads difference, in fact. Instead of hitting the 813 downloads that I got advertising a prior book for free, I decided to see what 99c was like.

I should’ve just looked at Bookbub prices and statistics and I would’ve realised.

Maybe the lacklustre 99c sale (where I sold 2 copies, ugh) is what started the whole demotivational thing. Or I could be using it as an excuse. Whatever it is, I’d like to use this blathering, ridiculous post as a starting point for getting myself going again. It’s a shitty, shitty post as far as blog posts go, but I’m really trying to use it as a kick up the bum… so hopefully you’ll see something better from me in 2-3 days.

Peace out.

Did I seriously try and end my blog post with ‘peace out’? Somebody get help, I’ve been overtaken by the pod-people.

And since I’m doing this weird non-finishing thing, you should totally check out ‘Ex Machina‘. That movie is everything I’ve ever wanted to write for A.I.

aaaaand! Check out Mr Robot (TV show), for scary/thrills about hacking.

*I still totally watch too much TV*